Power of Prayer

It is all His grace that He answers prayer in ways beyond my wildest imagination. I will share one of my life stories 3 years ago. At that time, I prepared myself for IBT TOEFL (internet based TOEFL) since I prepared myself to submit my scholarship application. After preparing myself or a month or two, finally the test day came. I prayed that I could pass it just once of following the test. Since at that time it was very expensive for me to pay the fee for the test. It was almost a month of my salary. I read in the internet, so many people shared their stories about their failures in TOEFL. I also read about the difficulty of IBT TOEFL. I browsed internet for free materials such as listening and reading. I also followed the preparation material available in internet provided in the website of TOEFL. I also practiced my speaking which was very weak compares to 3 areas of testing: listening, reading, and writing.

At that time, I was still a freelance lecturer. One day I entered a class. I turned on the computer to start teaching. Then I found the file of IBT TOEFL preparation! Last week I taught there, I didn’t find any of it. My heart beat so fast. I didn’t know who put it there! However, I was very happy! In the end of the class, I copied it into my Flash Disc. I learned the materials at home. Jehovah Jireh! God who provides! Despite of my limitation to have materials to learn, the Lord provided it just in time.

On the preparation, I found that my TOEFL score were still not enough to pass the requirement of scholarship application at that time. I became worry but kept learning to prepare it.

Finally it was test day. In the middle of the test, we were given break time. I was out of the room. Then sat on the living room of the test center. Suddenly I saw the writing on the door of test center. It was written more or less: do not leave the room before you finish the test. I suddenly remember once I read the terms and conditions of IBT TOEFL in a package I received. It was given after I paid for joining the test. It was clearly written that we were not allowed to leave the test room and only allowed to do so after saying it to the staff there. Violation of the rule would make the cancellation of test result!

When I wanted to leave for break time, I saw none of the staff. Besides, in the briefing before the test I was told that we were allowed to have a break after finishing 2 areas of test outside of the room. However, since at that time I suddenly remember about the terms an conditions in the test package, I became panic!

Later I saw another person there. She was called to enter the test room after a while. The staff stared at me but said nothing. Few minutes after that I entered the test room too. Trying to calm myself, I did the test again.

Praise the Lord that I could do the test well though I was very worry about the speaking test. At night, suddenly the panic attacked again. What if question appeared suddenly in my mind. I was very worry that my test result would be cancelled. I was also worry that my test result was not good enough. I was worry that I had to do the test one more time. Since if it happened, I had to pay again. The first test had cost me nearly a month of my salary. I couldn’t afford for another test.

In the middle of panic and worry, I prayed. I prayed that the test result would be not cancelled. I prayed that the test result would be good enough. I prayed that I didn’t need to pay for another test. After praying, I felt better. Then I heard a voice saying inside my thought: “Do not worry. You will pass the test. Your result is 96.” I was startled at that time. I wonder whether it was the Holy Spirit’s voice or my thought.

After 2 weeks in such tense situation, finally the judgement day came. Everyday I checked on the internet. After 2 weeks, the website showed that the result was ready! In a way I was happy, the Lord had granted my prayer wish. The test was not cancelled! However, in other way I was tense! I was afraid of the result. After clicked.. you know what? The TOEFL score I saw there was precisely as what I have received before: 96! As predicted my speaking score was the lowest of 3 areas, however the score was enough to pass the requirement of scholarship application and university application! Praise the Lord!

It was such a great joy that the Lord answered my prayers. It was not because of my greatness that the Lord granted me my prayer wishes. It was all by His grace. He provided what I needed without my asking. He was there for me in every step I made. He gave me peace when I was worry and tense. He gave me direction of the future. Finally He gave me the joy and victory! Praise the Lord!

Power of Prayer is real. It is when the loving heart of the Lord answer the pleas of my heart: to provide, to direct, to give peace and joy, to lead me to the victory. Praise the Lord!

Amen!

Revelation: The Love and Second Coming

Collection of revelations suddenly flashed on my mind:
- The heart shape necklace pendant (Picture My Heart Shape Pendant). My mom gave the necklace and the pendant to me 10 years ago maybe. It is the confirmation and revelation for me and for all of us. We should become the love. Since God is love.

- Utopia by Thomas More (I learned it on History lesson when I was on high school). For more information about Utopia of Thomas More, please read this

- Libestraum (dreams of love – a classical song a friend of mine once play when I was on high school). For more information about Liebestraum, please read and hear this,

- A lovely song a facebook friend (Piter James) posted on his wall.  I forgot the title. But the youtube of the song was the singer sang the song while an ice skating athlete danced with the song as background. It is so beautiful and the lyric of the song is about dreaming of perfect world. (update: I finally remember the title of the song: “Nella Fantasia”. Piter James gave me the link o the video. Thanks, Bro! Enjoy it everyone! Link: here. To me it is perfection: listening the song and watching the video. I also found the video of the same song with a very touching story. Enjoy! Link: here)

- The sudden thought across my mind without my thinking of it these few days: about “I dream of a world of blue sky: with no pain, no cry, no hatred. I dream of a perfect world where all of us can walk in harmony. I dream a world of peace.”

- The vision He gave me: for the glory of the Lord (through literature and art).

- The aspect of missions He revealed to me: education, environment, health, humanity, moral/encouragement, spirituality, business/working.

- Vision beyond the Veils (testimonial of A. H. Baker I translated, about the work of Holy Spirit and the second coming of Jesus Christ). Link: here.

- All point to the ONE: that God is the love : that Jesus will come soon and make the utopia come true.

Holy Spirit, help me to do what You want me to do. I am helpless without You, so help me. Help us to do what You want us to do. We are helpless without You. Jesus, all of us long that You come, to rule in this world, to make this world free from pain, free from hatred, free from evil. Father, let Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Thank You for the revelation, Lord! In the name of Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen.

Versi Bahasa Indonesia:

Pewahyuan: Sang Kasih dan Kedatangan Kedua

Kumpulan pewahyuan yang tiba-tiba terbersit di pikiran saya::
- Liontin kalung berbentuk hati (Gambar Liontin Bentuk Hati). Mami saya memberikan kalung dann liontinnya ke saya sekitar 10 tahun lalu mungkin. Itu adalah suatu konfirmasi dan pewahyuan bagi saya dan kita semua. Kita harus menjadi sang kasih. Karena Tuhan adalah kasih.

- Utopia oleh Thomas More (saya mempelajarinya pada pelajaran Sejarah di SMU). Untuk informasi tambahan tentang Utopia-nya Thomas More, silakan baca di sini.

- Libestraum (mimpi cinta – sebuah lagu klasik yang dimainkan oleh seorang teman saat saya SMU). Untuk informasi tambahan tentang Liebestraum, silakan baca dan dengarkan di sini this,

- Sebuah lagu yang indah yang di-posting oleh seorang teman facebook saya (Piter James) di wall-nya. Saya lupa judul lagunya. Tetapi youtube dari lagu itu adalah menggambarkan seorang penyanyi menyanyikan lagu tersebut sementara seorang atlit es skating menari dengan lagu itu di latar belakang. Sungguh suatu video yang sangat indah dan lirik dari lagu itu adalah mengenai memimpikan dunia yang sempurna. (update: saya akhirnya ingat judul laguya:  “Nella Fantasia”. Piter James memberi saya tautan ke video itu. Terima kasih, Saudaraku! Selamat menikmati, teman-teman! Tautan: di sini. Bagi saya itulah salah satu bentuk kesempurnaan: mendengarkan lagu dan video ini. Saya juga menemukan video denganlagu yang sama yang cerita dalam video itu sangat menyentuh. Selamat menikmati! Tautan: di sini)

- Pemikiran yang tiba-tiba terbersit di pikiran saya tanpa saya sedang memikirkannya pada beberapa hari belakangan ini: mengenai “Aku memimpikan suatu dunia dengan langit yang biru: tanpa sakit, tanpa air mata, tanpa kebencian. Aku memimpikan dunia yang sempurna tempat kita semua dapat berjalan dalam harmoni. Aku memimpikan dunia yang penuh damai.”

- Visi yang Tuhan berikan pada saya: untuk kemuliaan-Nya (melalui literatur (tulisan) dan seni).

- Aspek misi yang Ia singkapkan pada saya: pendidikan, lingkungan hidup, kesehatan, kemanusiaan, moral/dorongan semangat, spiritualitas, bisnis/pekerjaan.

- Vision beyond the Veils (kesaksian A. H. Baker yang saya terjemahkan, mengenai karya Roh Kudus dan kedatangan kembali Yesus Kristus ke dunia). Tautan: di sini.

- Semua menunjuk pada yang SATU: bahwa Tuhan adalah kasih: bahwa Yesus akan datang segera dan membuat utopia (dunia yang sempurna) itu menjadi kenyataan. 

Roh Kudus, tolong saya untuk melakukan hal yang Kau ingin saya lakukan. Saya tidak berdaya tanpa Engkau, jadi tolonglah saya. Tolong kami untuk melakukan hal yang Kau mau kami lakukan. Kami tak berdaya tanpa Engkau. Yesus, kami semua rindu Engkau datang, memerintah di dunia ini, menjadikan dunia ini bebas dari rasa sakit, dari kebencian, dari kejahatan. Bapa, terjadilah kehendak-Mu di Bumi seperti di Surga. Terima kasih untuk pewahyuan-Mu, Tuhan! Dalam nama Bapa, Putra, Roh Kudus. Amin.

One Story of My Life

Here was my post on my facebook 18 hours ago:

“An hour ago I went to GSG Unpar. Just walked and wanted to see other stands since yesterday I didn’t have chance to do it. Then I found 2 students in my stand, reading the decoration and taking pic of the decoration. I just smiled while walking and saying in my heart: thanks Lord It is truly my mission to inspire and change life of others.”

Then an ex-student of mine commented:

“Benny Zeng 那您为何退出教授的职位呢?”

He said, “Why do you quit from teaching?”

Here is my reply:

“@Benny: I will reply in English so everyone around the world can read this too .

Actually more than one of my ex-students (besides you) had asked the same question. If short answer you want to know, I replied all of you with the same answer: it was not my calling anymore .

@all friends:
Suddenly I was encouraged to share some of the stories of my life. Hopefully it can inspire you and glorify the Lord’s name.

I thought teaching in class was my calling. I loved teaching since I was in Elementary School. I had taught my friends when I was still in Elementary School.

I still remember that a mother of my classmate often called me. She requested to be taught about math so she could teach her child! At that time I was in 4th or 5th grade of Elementary School.

I still remember a story in 5th grade. Once I didn’t do my math homework. It is about finding the rootsquare of numbers. My teacher punished me to do it and re-write it 10 times! While the questions were 15 or 20.

While I wrote it on the floor of teacher’s room, I saw several of my classmates, who also forgot to do their homework, had finished their punishment. Then I asked them how many times they had to re-write it. They said 5 times.

I got upset with my teacher. Then I asked her, “Why did they only re-write 5 time, while I should re-write 10 times?” She replied, “Since you are special. You are different.” At that time, I was just quiet. I didn’t know how to answer. In a way I felt it was unfair that I had to do it 10 times while others only did it 5 times. But in other hand, I felt a mixed feeling of proud and happy since she thought I was special.

I also still remember that once in 5th grade I think (or 6th grade), there was a test. The whole class got below 6. Only 2 persons got above 6: I and one of my friends.

The teacher asked us to do another test for remedial and she told us we can cooperate in a class. The whole classes apart into 2, some of them came to me; the rest came to my friend. It’s been more than 20 years ago. But somehow I suddenly remember about it and want to share will all of you.

To live as teacher, it was such a very difficult life financially at the beginning. However, since it was what I loved, I did it .

I only received salary when I was teaching. So the more hours I got, the more money I received. When the school was off, I didn’t get salary. So.. 3 months working salary had to be enough for 6 months. At first even 3 months working salary had to be enough for 1 year since the course only on odd semester (the semester of 7th at that time).
Praise the Lord that a year later after that, I became part time lecturer in other faculty. So I could earn more money to live.

It is very bitter to be poor and to be treated unfairly . Life is unfair. It is true. I still remember that no matter how hard my life was, when I was teaching I could forget everything. Ah, too many stories I couldn’t tell you openly since it involved so many people here. *tears*

But at the same time, it was a good experience to me. Through the experience, it taught me how to manage money.  It taught me about the unfairness of life. It taught me about the darkside of human. Though at the same time, I could find my true friends too. I even experienced how great Holy Spirit worked within me.

I will share one of those experiences with you. I had shared it with some of my friends and colleagues. A class I taught and these 3 students involved in the situation are the witnesses of the story.

Once I examined the homework of students. Somehow I became alert with 2 students’ homework (let’s say A and B). I didn’t know why but I became curious at that time. I read A’s homework then after some homework of other students’ I read B’s homework. So, you see, A’s and B’s homework paper were not consecutive.

However I believe it was Holy Spirit’s work to show me about A’s and B’s homework. I found that the handwritten of A and B were similar. Then somehow, since I was very curious, I wanted to proof if my suspicion was correct. I searched for A’s middle test’s paper. I matched his handwritten in the middle test’s paper with the handwritten in the homework. It was mismatched! AHA!

The next day, in the morning I got my breakfast. I didn’t think anything when suddenly a voice told me a name of student. Let’s call as C. Though because of God’s grace I am good in memorizing conversation, I am not good in memorizing names. So I got surprised when a voice told me “C”. Yes, it was Holy Spirit’s voice told me. The name of “C” was mentioned in full name.

I thought, “Why suddenly was C’s name mentioned?” I related it with the homework. So I searched for C’s homework and found that the handwritten was similar with A’s dan B’s.

Then after teaching in the class, I announced that A, B, and C had to stayed at class while others could leave. I confronted them about my finding. A confessed that he didn’t do his homework by himself. He told me that it was his girlfriend who did it for him. So it was different from my suspicion at first. However, it was still correct that he didn’t do it himself.

C confessed that she wrote B’s homework since they got overtime to prepare an event at school at that time. B confessed the same too. I told them that the punishment was that they would receive zero for the homework. At first I wanted to make three of them fail in the course since cheating in the homework. However, since they confessed it, I forgave them by only gave zero.

It is a very interesting experience . I still have several experiences about Holy Spirit’s saying directly and clearly. It is true that with the help of the Lord, if we look on the bright side, the sour or even bitter lemon can be a great lemonade too.

Why do after 7 years struggles of poverty and bitterness, and finally could receive what I really wanted to: teaching permanently, secure financially, I quit?

Again, there were things I couldn’t share openly here. But one thing I can share is 3 years ago, I received from the Lord that I wouldn’t be lecturer for the rest of my life. He told me very clearly that I would be a writer.

At that time, I was very shocked. I really loved teaching courses though I still became part time lecturer assistant and part time lecturer at that time. Yes, teaching courses was once the love of my life.

So, why did I quit? Finally, I found it truly not my real calling. I find that what I really love most is sharing about life, spiritual, relationship, and business/working . Shortly: mentoring, training, counseling. Plus writing and helping others. I can’t do that while I had to concentrate to teach courses.

I find that when I shared about life, spiritual, relationship, and business/working, students all got silence. From the first time I taught until the last, when I shared about those, all of them listened.

I still remember few years ago, an ex-students of mine shared with me after course that what I shared was what he experienced. I just gave him short advice after that.

It was a moment to remember for a life-time. It is an honor that the Lord wants to use me to touch the live of others.

So, whatever He leads, I follow. Though now I am facing greater challenges, I always believe: “When God puts vision, He will provide provision”. He is with me before I was born. He is with me in my childhood, my teenage period, until now.

He is with me all the time. So though deep down, I feel afraid and unsure of myself (who I am that I should do all great things He told me), I only look on Him and depend on Him. He is the One who puts the vision in my heart, so I believe He is also the one who will guide, provide, protect, and help me till the end.”

The same God who guides, provides, protects, and helps me, is the same God who guides, provides, protects, and helps you too. If you allow Him, He will enter your heart and your life. If you let Him in, He will rule and change your life forever. His name is Jesus.

The final question is: will you open your mind, your heart, to let Him in? To rule? To change your life forever? If you do, call His name. Then you will find so many challenging but exciting life as I experienced . God bless you!”

Jesus, It is You

Jesus, it is You
Who I see until eternity
It is You
Who has never let me down
It is You
Who has never let me go
It is You
Who always be with me

Jesus, it is You
My heart Desire
The deepest of my Dream
The Purpose I am doing
The Vision I am chasing

Jesus, it is You
The One who can awake me
The One who make me alive
The One who restore me
The One who fulfill me

Jesus, it is You
The One and only
The highest Name
The greatest One
The Way, the Truth, and the Life

Jesus, it is You
It is You, Jesus

10 Outstanding Characters (10 Kepribadian Luar Biasa)

I received an Indonesian version from a friend. Then I translated and add a little inside it. Enjoy (Saya mendapat versi Indonesianya dari seorang teman. Lalu saya menerjemahkan dan menambahkan sedikit ke dalamya. Selamat menikmati )

English version:
1. Sincere: he makes people feel safe and appreciate since they are sure that they won’t be cheated by him.

2. Humble: he expresses strength. Only strong soul can be humble. He will admit and appreciate others strength.

3. Loyal: it is a rare and a very precious thing. He can be trusted and depended on. He always keeps promise and has strong commitment. He is able to sacrifice. He doesn’t betray.

4. Positive thinking: he always sees things though positive views, even in the worse situations.

5. Cheerful: he always enjoys life, doesn’t like complaining, and always strive to be joyful. He has great potential to cheer others up and encourage others.

6. Responsible: he will do his task well. If he does a mistake, he has courage to admit it.

7. Confidence: he is able to receive himself as he is, appreciate self and others.

8. Great soul: he is able to forgive others. He will not let himself be conquer by hatred.

9. Easy going: he is doing his life lightly. He doesn’t like to bigger problems, he even tries to make the problem smaller.

10. Wise: it is such an admirable character. He is not only a great listener, but also can put himself on others’ shoes.

Be the outstanding characters. It is inside you! Be YOU! Morning

Versi Indonesia:
10 Ǩếƥribαϑiαn Luαr ϐȋαsα (*)

1. Ǩếtulusαπ
Ǩếtulusαπ memϐųαt orαπğ lαin Mếrasa ∕̴Ɩmαπ ϑάπ ϑiHαŕğαi kareπa γαkïπ Ƭiϑαk αkαπ ϑiϐodohi αtαu ϑiϐohongi..:)

2. Ǩếreπϑαhαπ Hαti..
Ǩếreπϑαhαπ hαti Mếπgungkαpkαπ Ǩếkuatan. Hαπγα orαπğ ƴanğ Ǩuat Jiwanya ƴğ ϐisα ϐersikap Rendah Hαti. Orαπğ ƴanğ Rendah Hαti αkαπ ϐisα Mếπgakΰi ϑάπ Mếπghαŕğαi Ǩeunggulan Orαπğ Lain..(y)

3. Ǩếsetiααπ ..
Ǩếsetiααπ sųϑαh menĴădi ϐαrαπğ Lαπgka ϑάπ sαπğαt Mαhαl Hαŕğαπγα.. Orαπğ ƴanğ Sètiα sếlαlų ϐisα ϑiPếrcαƴα ϑάπ ϐisα ϑi∕̴Ɩπϑαlkαπ..ȋα sếlαlų Mếnepαti Ĵαπji, Pųπγα Komitmen ƴanğ Kuat, Rela ϐếrkorban ϑάπ Ƭiϑαk Sųkα ϐerkhiαπαt..({})

4. Ƥositiƒ Ƭhinking
Orαπğ ƴğ ϐếrsikap Ƥositif selαlų ϐếrusaha Mếlihat sgαlα sesuatu dαri Kacamata Ƥositif, ϐahkan ϑalam Situasi ƴanğ ϐuruk sekalipun:*

5. Ǩếceriααπ ..
Orαπğ ƴanğ Ceria αϑαlαh orαπğ ƴanğ ϐisα Mếπikmati Hiϑųp, Ƭiϑαk śųkα Mếngeluh ϑάπ sếlαlų ϐếrusaha Mếraih Kếgembiraan.. ȋa Ƥųπγα Ƥotensi ųπtųk Mếnghibur ϑάπ Mếπdorong Sếmangat Orαπğ lain..<=-P

6. ϐếrtanggung Ĵăwaϐ..
Orαπğ ƴğ ϐếrtanggung Ĵăwab αkαπ Mếlaksanakan Kếwajibαππγα ϑenğaπ Sungguh"-sunGguh.. Jikα ȋα Mếlakukan Kesαlαhαπ, ȋα ϐerani Mếπgakuinya..(*)

7. Pếrcaya Ðiri
Mếmungkinkan sếseorang Mếnerima Ðiriπγα sếϐαğαimana αϑαπγα, Mếπghαrğαi Ðiriπγα ϑάπ Mếπghαrğαi Orαπğ lain;)

8. Ǩếbesaran Jiwa..
Ðαpαt ϑilihat dαri Kếmampuαπ sếseorang Mếmaafkan Orαπğ lain…Orαπğ ƴğ ϐếrjiwa ϐesar Ƭiϑαk αkαπ Mếmϐiαrkαπ Ðiriπγα ϑiKųαsαi oleh Rasa ϐenci ϑάπ Ƥếrmusuhan♥

9. Ếαsy Going..
Orαπğ ƴanğ Mếmiliki Siƒαt iπi Mếnjαlαπi Hidupπγα ϑenğaπ Ringan. Ðia Ƭiϑαk śųkα Mếm-ϐesar"-besarkan Mαśαlαh..ϐahkan ȋα ϐếrusaha Mếngecilkαπ Mαśαlαh-masalah ϐesar =D

10. ϐȋjαksαπα
ϐȋjαksαπα αϑαlαh Siƒαt ƴanğ sαπğαt Mếπgagumkαπ…Oranğ ƴanğ ϐijαksαπα ϐųkαπ śαjα ϐisα menĴădi Ƥếndengar ƴanğ ϐαik, tαƥi jųğα ϐisα Mếπempatkαπ Ðiriπγα pαϑα Ƥosisi Õrαπğ Lain O:)

Today is Yours

Few weeks ago, a new friend of mine sent me this video. The title of the video is “Hari ini Milikmu” (Today is Yours/Carpe Diem/Seize the Day) sung by Ie San. This is from the album of: “Syair Kehidupan” (Life Lyrics). I love the song, the story in the video, and the 3 languages used: Khek (a local languages of Chinese), Indonesian, Chinese. Enjoy!

The message of this video: Today is ours, but tomorrow maybe we are not here anymore. Use available time to be closer to the Lord. Life is only once. Life is not a game. Where you will go after the death?

Pray for Nations/Countries/the World (Berdoa bagi Bangsa/Negara/Dunia)

As I wrote before on my facebook wall, today April 21, 2012 is my birthday. This year I was inspired to make it different. Let’s pray for nations/countries/the world. Here is the rule: write one you choose, then write your prayer here. Then ask a friend of yours to add me on facebook (www.facebook.com/santi.erawaty) and let him/her write his/her prayer here too. Feel free to write prayer in any languages then please write the translation in English. Thank you. God bless.

Example: the World. Lord, I am praying for this world. The hurting world who needs Your love. Touch this world with Your love, Lord. Let Your love and Your peace that change this whole world into new for the glory of Yours. Thank You, Lord. Amen.

Seperti yang sudah saya tuliskan sebelumnya di dinding facebook saya, hari ini 21 April 2012 adalah ulang tahun saya. Tahun ini saya terinspirasi untuk membuat hari ulang tahun saya berbeda. Mari kita berdoa untuk bangsa/negara/dunia. Caranya: tulis satu yang teman-teman pilih, lalu tuliskan doa teman-teman di sini. Lalu minta seorang teman lain untuk meng-add saya di facebook (www.facebook.com/santi.erawaty) dan minta teman itu untuk menuliskan juga doanya di sini. Silakan tuliskan doa dalam bahasa apapun lalu tuliskan juga terjemahannya dalam Bahasa Indonesia. Terima kasih. Tuhan memberkati.

Contoh: Dunia. Tuhan, aku berdoa untuk dunia ini. Dunia yang terluka yang membutuhkan kasih-Mu. Jamahlah dunia ini dengan kasih-Mu, Tuhan. Biarlah kasih-Mu dan damai-Mu itu yang mengubah isi dunia ini menjadi baru bagi kemuliaan nama-Mu. Terima kasih, Tuhan. Amin.